A major illumination in understanding how we went from being a culture of marriage and commitment to a culture of divorce and transition is not at all because people had greater values/traditions before, during, and after the depression era. People were loyal and dutiful, yes - but not any less miserable or broken than those of us today.
I am not still married because of any kind of bullshit loyalty, duty, or religious belief. I am married because my wife and I utilize a specific language that allows us to understand, accept, forgive, and support one another. We know how to talk to each other, even when we are frustrated, self-righteous, ugly, sick, unhappy, angry, jealous, hurt, annoyed, changing, deconstructing, etc.
We tend to foolishly believe that a good marriage is a marriage without the above negative hallmarks - but in fact, it is a good marriage that accepts that very reality of being human with one another, working hard to articulate the hows and whys, always being honest and confessional, and remembering that emotional pain is almost always a shared pain to be processed together.
I know I have suggested this in several other posts, but it is of the utmost importance that we develop and utilize an emotional language in which to process the valid and the distorted, rather than resorting to the ye old right vs. wrong anti-conversation that divorces us from our spiritual unity.
It is never easy, but it ultimately defines our relationships.
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