Q

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Today was my final day with Q in our literacy tutoring program. It was quite awful for a number of reasons. He remained dis-engaged with me in almost every way possible all throughout our tutoring sessions this year. That isn't to say that he didn't learn, because he did eventually learn the entire alphabet. However, he never allowed himself to trust me, which could absolutely be because I did not create a safe environment for him - or it could have something to do with childhood trauma at home, or just a general distrust for people outside of his context.

Regardless, it feels personally shitty to exert a particular amount of energy into another human being, and then not feel personally connected spiritually or emotionally. It's totally selfish, but fucking true all the same. Disconnection and powerlessness are somehow one. What can you do when the car drives itself off a cliff no matter how hard you slam the brakes and turn the wheel?

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