It seems that I will be frequently quoting and discussing Andrew Cherlin's recent sociological study of "the state of marriage and family in America" - appropriately named "The Marriage-Go-Round". He has been featured on NPR a time or two. I quoted him a few posts ago, titled "the difference, part 1", which is now "carousel, part 1".
I believe it will bring depth and definition to last years exploration of my personal experience and thoughts with the great "relational holocaust" of 2010. It will hopefully lead to several substantial conclusions about...us.
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What is the relational holocaust?
The answer lies in the competing cultural models that Americans hold. Just as the word “marriage” taps a reservoir of positive sentiment, so does the phrase “individual freedom”.
Marriage is losing.
Consequently, Americans are conflicted about lifelong marriage: they value the stability and security of marriage, but they tend to believe that individuals who are unhappy with their marriages should be allowed to end them.
Unhappy? I assume there are as many definitions of the word "unhappy" as there are Americans living in the world. And I believe that Wal-Mart has an unlimited return policy on spouses, so long as you have your motherfucking receipt.
Check this out...
In fact, the United States has one of the highest levels of both marriage and divorce of any Western nation, and these rates appear to have been higher than in most other Western nations since the early days of the nation. The percentage of people who are projected to marry-close to 90 percent-is higher than elsewhere. Yet the United States has the highest divorce rate in the Western world, higher than even vanguard countries such as Sweden. At current rates, nearly half of all American marriages would end in divorce. In addition, Americans’ cohabiting relationships end more quickly-either with a breakup or with a marriage-than in other countries.
You know, Wal-Mart is not as prevalent in other Western nations. That's a substantial correlation, as far as I am concerned. Creepy.
So what's the difference?
So while some observers focus on marriage, others on divorce, and others on unmarried parents, I believe that what truly makes American Families different is the sum total of these differences - frequent marriage, frequent divorce, more short term cohabiting relationships...
...The most distinctive characteristic of American family life, then, the trait that most clearly differentiates it from family life in other Western countries, is sheer movement: frequent transitions, shorter relationships. Americans step on and off the carousel of intimate partnerships more often. Whether an American parent is married or cohabiting or raising children without a partner, she or he is more likely to change living arrangements in the near future than are parents in the rest of the Western world.
Frequent transitions and shorter relationships. Marriage is losing, Walmart is winning. It's a problem. It's a huge problem for American children. Huge.
How many times can I uproot a young starter plant, then replant it in a different location?
to be explored...
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