you know... i been here for a little more than two years. i didn't realize that would be enough time for children to begin to hug me when they see me, even though they don't know me. these children in particular, live in a roach and lice infested home. and today, just before a roach ran across my bare toes within their home, a red headed five year old boy with lice, crossed eyes, and autism, gave me a hug of safety and love, just as he saw me. his sister did the same. that really fucked me up.

and later on in the evening, as their mother vomited out their troubles to a counselor, we played hide and seek together. and again, very naturally, they felt comfortable enough to approach me with a severe hug.

What does that mean?

What does it mean to commit to a place and time?

what does that mean?

this isn't a short term mission trip.



there is this other kid. i tutored him, "officially", meaning i shouldn't have a relationship with him outside of the classroom. but he is never home, always on the street, by himself. and even though he hated tutoring, he loves to see me walking the streets, running up to me to say hi, to see what's new.

and then this other kid. he loves to stop by and play sonic the hedgehog with Canaan, just because I noticed his t-shirt.

and then this other kid. whom I don't necessarily like. but he brought over his homework one evening. Kelsie and I helped him with it.

as followers of Jesus, what more is ask of us, than to simply show up, and be present.

plant a seed, and fucking nurture it.

but don't water too much, or the roots will become spoiled, and won't establish themselves.