Being Present

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The Long and Winding Update

Being present.

“More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.”

- Henri Nouwen from Jen's blog

"The Good Shepherd looked upon the outside world as a threat to conventional wisdom. The University looked upon itself as a threat to the conventional wisdom of the outside world. According to it, it not only knew more than ordinary people but was more advanced and had a better idea of the world of the future.

Otherwise, the University and The Good Shepherd were a lot alike. That was another of my discoveries. It was a slow discovery and not one I enjoyed - I was a long time figuring it out. Every one of the educational institutions that I had been in had been hard at work trying to be a world unto itself. The Good Shepherd and Pigeonville College were trying to be the world of the past. The University was trying to be the world of the future, and maybe it has had a good deal to do with the world as it turned out to be, but this has not been as big an improvement as the university expected. The University thought of itself as a place of freedom for thought and study and experimentation, and maybe it was, in a way. But it was an island too, a floating or flying island. It was preparing people from the world of the past for the world of the future, and what was missing was the world of the present, where every body was living its small, short, surprising, miserable, wonderful, blessed, damaged, only life."

-Wendell Berry from "Jayber Crow"

I am meeting families this week and next that the previous SC had as a caseload. She has been gracious enough to drive me around the second biggest county in KY. The bigger of the two towns in the county has a census of 2000 people...smaller than MVNU. Lots of land, and not very many people. Not a very romantic place. It is much more Appalachian than the areas of KY that Wendell writes about.

We visited several trailers found out long, winding, GRAVEL roads. One looked as if it could be blown over by a meager 20 mph wind...and the only reason it hasn't been blown over is because it had the biggest fuckin' television inside that I have ever seen (not even a tornado could budge it). It must have been helicoptered in. Funny thing is...they needed a new engine for their broken down minivan.

Such is poverty here in our over-developed nation.

Anyway...one single mother I met today didn't care so much for the past or future. She has been somewhat forced to live in the present moment the past 18 years, but it was her absolute acceptance of this that held so much weight. Her 18 year old son is Autistic, and has never said more than five words. His bad days are too difficult to imagine spending your life suffering through...but for her it is not a choice. She said that she cannot have bad days for herself...that everyday must be good...because it ultimately means less bad days for her son. She still wakes up four or five times a night to make sure he has not gotten up and wondered outside. And interestingly, she knows exactly what he wants when he grunts...she knows his routines, she knows what makes him laugh or cry, she knows to follow when he walks around the "Holler" that they live in. The dogs know to stay at a distance (apparently they have been kicked over the hillside a time or two). The extended family (who also live in the holler) always keep an eye out for him as well. I can't imagine anyone living in a smaller world than this woman, and I can't imagine anyone embracing it more willingly. A doctor told her (some time ago) that she should have her son "committed". She was totally offended.

She is a simple person...not well-learned...but she has had the natural support structure of her family...and she has learned what she needed to know as to how to care for a child with Autism. But mostly, she knows she must be constantly present and mindful of her son, and she somehow chooses everyday to be just that.

One of her few quirks was that she had hundreds of cats...porcelain cats. That was weird. But at least porcelain cats don't poop.


More stories to come...lessons to be learned from the poor and suffering...overall, I totally dig this gig...love the people I am working with...love taking in the stories of others, however terrible or beautiful, and I totally look forward to embracing them, being present with them, and advocating for them.

do it

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